I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
