Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
