I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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