Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
