Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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