so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize