so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
