Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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