Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
