My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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