Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
