He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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