that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
