whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
