My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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