Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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