i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
