I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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