please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
