covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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