you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
