Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
