He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
