Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
