She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
