I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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