The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
