My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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