i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
