dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
