Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
