hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
