i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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