she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
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You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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