If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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