Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
