Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
