the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize