Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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