I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
His nipple licking is glorious
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