I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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