Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
