everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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