Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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