Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
