Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
