mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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