This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
