it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
