How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i already hear my dad disowning me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
