I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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