I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
