The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
NoShamevember. You game?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
