I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
