its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
