I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
false alarm. still invincible.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
