she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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