I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
