I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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