Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
