i think my tv is drunk
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
