All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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